You feel it too, don't you, dear reader? The fear, the pondering, the sense that we are in a special moment in time? Something is shifting under our feet. Something is dying, and something is being born. Call it the tomb or call it the womb, we are still being shoved into a darkness deeper than any we've known in recent history. There's a change in the air that demands to be noticed.
So why the silence? I see some of you trying to go about your lives like nothing's changed. You're chatting about the Super Bowl, you're planning your parties, you're going to work and cooking dinner just like before. But let's face it, at night your doubts are still there when your head hits the pillow. Your dreams won't escape you (or are they nightmares?). Something's going on, and you are obsessively checking the internet to figure out what it is.
Perhaps you want to speak out. Perhaps you are truly upset, and want to do something different. Perhaps you've been noticeably more angry with a loved one lately, as your firmly gripped sense of control is dissolving in your hands. Yet you are terrified to change, and you keep the old charade going.
How do I know you feel this way, dear reader? Simple. Because I've felt it, too. I'm speaking especially to my Southern lady friends here, but I'm guessing what I'll say actually applies beyond that. All I know is that as a girl growing up in Georgia, I was warned from an early age that "if you can't say anything NICE, then don't say anything at all." I don't remember the first time I heard this threat. I'm sure I had sassed off to someone, or I had gossiped, or maybe I had actually voiced a legitimate grievance. Whatever I said, it must have made others feel uncomfortable.
"Be NICE!" We Southerners tell our children. After all, the consummate Southern host makes her guests feel comfortable and at ease. We must all, always, feel comfortable and at ease. What are little girls made of, at the end of the day? Not deep red Georgia clay, but sugar and spice, and everything NICE.
There it is, that word. NICE. We toss it around so frequently that we don't even hear it anymore. Yet it's there, hovering in the air as a threat to any challenge to the status quo.
The Holy Spirit prompted me today to see what the Bible says about being nice. Here's a screen shot about the word "nice" from BlueletterBible.org, a helpful tool for Biblical interpretation and research:
So why the silence? I see some of you trying to go about your lives like nothing's changed. You're chatting about the Super Bowl, you're planning your parties, you're going to work and cooking dinner just like before. But let's face it, at night your doubts are still there when your head hits the pillow. Your dreams won't escape you (or are they nightmares?). Something's going on, and you are obsessively checking the internet to figure out what it is.
Perhaps you want to speak out. Perhaps you are truly upset, and want to do something different. Perhaps you've been noticeably more angry with a loved one lately, as your firmly gripped sense of control is dissolving in your hands. Yet you are terrified to change, and you keep the old charade going.
How do I know you feel this way, dear reader? Simple. Because I've felt it, too. I'm speaking especially to my Southern lady friends here, but I'm guessing what I'll say actually applies beyond that. All I know is that as a girl growing up in Georgia, I was warned from an early age that "if you can't say anything NICE, then don't say anything at all." I don't remember the first time I heard this threat. I'm sure I had sassed off to someone, or I had gossiped, or maybe I had actually voiced a legitimate grievance. Whatever I said, it must have made others feel uncomfortable.
"Be NICE!" We Southerners tell our children. After all, the consummate Southern host makes her guests feel comfortable and at ease. We must all, always, feel comfortable and at ease. What are little girls made of, at the end of the day? Not deep red Georgia clay, but sugar and spice, and everything NICE.
There it is, that word. NICE. We toss it around so frequently that we don't even hear it anymore. Yet it's there, hovering in the air as a threat to any challenge to the status quo.
The Holy Spirit prompted me today to see what the Bible says about being nice. Here's a screen shot about the word "nice" from BlueletterBible.org, a helpful tool for Biblical interpretation and research:
Interestingly, none of the verses uses the word "nice" in a positive way. Isaiah 30:10 is an especially damning passage about valuing "nice" above "what is right." In fact, Isaiah 30:9 says, "For these are rebellious people, deceitful children unwilling to listen to the Lord’s instruction." The people only want to hear what makes them feel happy. As we know from Biblical history, however, the prophet Isaiah spoke these piercing words shortly before God swept the Israelites into punishing exile. Ecclesiastes 6:9 speaks truth when it says, "just dreaming about nice things is meaningless--like chasing the wind."
Valuing "nice" above all else, therefore, leads to idolatry. The demand to "be nice!" often covers up legitimate problems, and silences difficult yet necessary responses. A slice of nice pie may actually be laced with poison.
So what do we do? If we shouldn't tell our kids to "be nice," what SHOULD we tell them? Thankfully, Jesus tells us exactly what he wants from us in Matthew 5:48:
"Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."
Ah. There it is. God doesn't call us to be NICE, but to be PERFECT. Before we freak out by this impossible demand, let's consider how Scripture uses this word "perfect." The Greek word here is teleios, and once again, BlueletterBible.org offers some helpful definitions from the Biblical usage:
Valuing "nice" above all else, therefore, leads to idolatry. The demand to "be nice!" often covers up legitimate problems, and silences difficult yet necessary responses. A slice of nice pie may actually be laced with poison.
So what do we do? If we shouldn't tell our kids to "be nice," what SHOULD we tell them? Thankfully, Jesus tells us exactly what he wants from us in Matthew 5:48:
"Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."
Ah. There it is. God doesn't call us to be NICE, but to be PERFECT. Before we freak out by this impossible demand, let's consider how Scripture uses this word "perfect." The Greek word here is teleios, and once again, BlueletterBible.org offers some helpful definitions from the Biblical usage:
How interesting that Isaiah 30:9 accuses the people of being "rebellious children" for wanting only to be told nice things, when God actually wants us to be teleios: mature adults. Here are some other Bible passages that use teleios:
Friends, how is God calling you to be teleios in this season? How can you cultivate maturity? Let's leave the flimsy demands of "nice" behind, and trust the one who wants us to grow into the "whole measure of the fullness of Christ"(Ephesians 4:13). Will this process involve some pain and discomfort? Absolutely. Yet it also bears fruit of freedom and peace, so that you'll know how to respond with God's strength in these uncertain times. Attaining God's maturity will involve some discipline and changing of our habits, but thankfully the Christian faith has a rich history that teaches us how to do that. If you want to get started, I recommend Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster or Soul Feast by Marjorie Thompson. I'll leave you with these challenging, yet encouraging words from Hebrews 12: 5-13:
“My child, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
or lose heart when you are punished by him;
for the Lord disciplines those whom he loves,
and chastises every child whom he accepts.”
Endure trials for the sake of discipline. God is treating you as children; for what child is there whom a parent does not discipline? If you do not have that discipline in which all children share, then you are illegitimate and not his children. Moreover, we had human parents to discipline us, and we respected them. Should we not be even more willing to be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share his holiness. Now, discipline always seems painful rather than pleasant at the time, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed.
“My child, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
or lose heart when you are punished by him;
for the Lord disciplines those whom he loves,
and chastises every child whom he accepts.”
Endure trials for the sake of discipline. God is treating you as children; for what child is there whom a parent does not discipline? If you do not have that discipline in which all children share, then you are illegitimate and not his children. Moreover, we had human parents to discipline us, and we respected them. Should we not be even more willing to be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share his holiness. Now, discipline always seems painful rather than pleasant at the time, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed.