On the flip side of our quest for personal territory, we loathe to be crowded and cramped. To the best of our abilities, we'll schedule vacations, commutes, and dinner dates at odd times to bypass the masses. We'll avoid restaurants with long queues, and some of us will even move residences to somewhere seemingly quieter. Why? Because we Westerners LIKE OUR SPACE.
To put it mildly, the Chinese don't regard space in the same way. I can only count on one hand the number of times here where I could spin 360 degrees and not seen another soul.* This may partly be out of necessity, since China has approximately the same land mass as the US, yet four times the population. Even when given the option of space, however, the Chinese seemingly loathe to be alone: they don't like expansive distances between others, and they prefer vacationing and eating at the same time as everyone else.**
Case in point: when Brian and I went to Malaysia earlier this year, we wanted to dine at a famous local restaurant. When we arrived, however, the place was PACKED, almost entirely with groups of Chinese tourists. We had to fight our way to the reservations desk, where they told us we could expect a two hour wait. Our typical American response? No thanks! Disappointed, we stepped outside, started walking back, and happened upon a copycat restaurant down the block that had just opened. Copycat restaurant's menu looked similar, and was empty. Our typical American response? Please seat us! The meal was great, we didn't have to wait, and the place was quiet and serene the entire time we dined. We were thrilled.
What confused us, however, is that every single group of Chinese tourists that we saw approach would notice the empty copycat restaurant, walk past it, and decide to endure the two hour wait at the famous establishment. Almost with 100% accuracy, all the Westerners like ourselves wound up at the copycat place, while the Chinese tourists stuck it out at the original restaurant.
As I often ask in this country, why? Why would a person choose to wait such a long time, in such crowded conditions, for more or less the same meal? Why is it every time we are in a theater, on the bus/Metro, or in a restaurant in China, the next person to enter will always sit right next to us (even if there is ample space somewhere else)? For awhile, I found myself quite confused (and deeply frustrated) by this pattern, until some Chinese friends finally solved the mystery for me.
Turns out, the Chinese assume that if a place is empty, there must be a reason for it being empty. For Middle Kingdom residents, crowded and cramped signifies something desirable and high caliber. Vacant and open equals forlorn and suspicious. Such logic explains not only why the malls here feel like narrow retail warrens (unlike our wide mega complexes back home), but also why the Chinese prefer to cluster in groups. In this country, being alone signifies a problem.
So whose logic is better: the Western or the Chinese? I suppose both perspectives have their strengths and weaknesses. While the Chinese tour groups may have enjoyed a potentially better meal, I enjoyed a quiet environment and ability to eat immediately. In the end, we were all happy. If only more such copycat restaurants would emerge in the Middle Kingdom, then I'd be REALLY happy! :)
*As the post below explains, solitude isn't even a given in my own apartment!
**An argument could be made that the vast majority of the Chinese hold jobs where their schedules and vacation times are highly regulated, therefore preventing them from choosing when to commute, eat, etc. Yet I would counter that if space were a highly desired commodity, then there would be movements to change work schedules to allow for it. As our Chinese teacher told us last year, when there's a will, there's a way. Based on what I've observed, there's not much of a will here for space.