At this university, we are merely yet another pesky set of foreigners who can’t yet speak Chinese. We are just another set of “big noses” (which is apparently how the Chinese view foreigners) who flail their arms strangely, trying unsuccessfully to communicate. Our resumes mean nothing. Try as we may, we cannot wax eloquent, pull strings, or even pull ourselves up from our own boot straps to achieve success in this country. Believe me, we’ve tried. It. Doesn’t. Work.
I say all this now with a bit of gratitude and deeper awareness. Learning how utterly unprepared we were for life here was an incredibly hard lesson, especially after living in success-obsessed DC. Everything I’ve been taught in the US about how to be an assertive leader simply leaves us empty handed. Wearing my laurels on my sleeve here only makes me look more ridiculous than when I wave my arms to try to catch a taxi.
Our friend Sarah, who also journeyed here from DC, had an interesting observation recently. Whether we acknowledge it or not, the US touts the assertive and proactive entrepreneur as the iconic role model. Our cowboys, stock brokers, and intellectuals alike are supposed to grab the bull by the horns and wrangle power over (and ostensibly for the benefit of) others.
In China, by contrast, the iconic role model is the sage who listens and waits. This person is patient, passive, and silent, yet in that time and space can hear the language of the universe. So, after trying unsuccessfully to wave, jump, shout, and push, I’ve finally tried to listen. And in that space of silence (well, metaphorical silence since this country is one continual car horn), I’ve heard words of wisdom I could not previously here in the US. This Big Nose is trying to grow Big Ears.
Today’s Scripture reading actually came from Sirach, which is not a book I’m familiar with as a Protestant (for my fellow Protestant friends who may not know, Sirach or Ecclesiasticus is in a set of books called the Apocrypha that is found in the Catholic Bible). Sirach 6:18-37 spoke directly to our current situation. I’ll summarize a few verses here:
my child, from your youth choose discipline, and when you have gray hair you will still find wisdom….She seems very harsh to the undisciplined; fools cannot remain with her. She will be like a heavy stone to test them, and they will not delay in casting her aside…Search out and seek, and she will become known to you,…for at last you will find the rest she gives, and she will be changed into joy for you…If you love to listen you will gain knowledge, and if you pay attention you will become wise” (Sirach 6:18, 20-21, 27-28, 33).
We are learning to listen in our language classes, where we are slowly but surely starting to understand how 22% of the world’s population comprehends the world. We are learning to listen at church where much of the leadership is African and brings a delightful yet different perspective than what I’m accustomed to. We are learning to listen to our classmates, many of whom would fall below us on the totem pole of influence and achievement in the US, yet have nonetheless blessed us with their insights. And we are learning to listen to the Eternal One so that we can gain the wisdom that Sirach also sought many years ago. Thankfully, all these groups are speaking and teaching. We can now be part of a conversation we previously could not hear.